28/11/2010 The good and the bad

28/11/2010 - 6w4d

The list of complaints is long this weekend. I feel like all i've done is whinge through this adventure, but my gosh, i'm tired of all the yukky parts.

Wednesday Monkey developed a major butt rash, which seems to be butt thrush.
Thursday I developed a bloody awful man cold with sore throat and hacking cough.
Friday the MCHN told me that i need to work on settling techniques and sleep school is pointless. Her advice - just sleep when the baby sleeps and it'll all work out in the end.
Yesterday I discovered the pump I bought off ebay doesn't work on power, only on battery or manual. And it is not comfy. Will resell it and buy a Medela Swing, I think.
And today I went to the doctor about a pain in my left boob, to find out she thinks it's mastitis. Yippee.

On top of all this, i'm tired. I'm freakin exhausted. There was that one time we had 4 hours sleep, but it was only one time. I live on about 5/6 hours a night. Broken. Monkey won't settle for me during the day, unless we're walking with the pram.

Negatives: I'm sore, fed up, and tired. My boobs and nose are both leaking constantly. I'm still fat. The house is a mess. The dog and husband are neglected. I still haven't written any thank you cards. I want a hot bath, and have wanted one for three weeks now. I also want a hot cup of tea. I need to cook dinner but CBF. Motherhood is the loneliest, hardest thing i've ever had to do and I really feel like this is a test i'm failing.

Positives: It's only 3 1/2 weeks until we see family for Christmas. And I have done most of the Christmas shopping. We are 6 weeks into bfing, which is one quarter of the way to my ultimate goal of exclusively bfing for 6 months. I drank a whole cup of tea in one sitting today. I had adult conversation with friends and soaked up a little sunshine while admiring their garden.And I really do love my bubba.

Monkey is still smiling a lot and is a generally happy bub. Just those afternoon tantrums show her cranky side. She's even filling out her 000 bonds wondersuits now, so she's porking up, which is a good thing for babies. She's also unbelievably cute (when she's awake and not crying). She's healthy, happy, safe, growing... all the right things. (well, apart from the bum thrush).

I WILL go and cook dinner now.